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Tales From Ye Dusty Olde Crap Shoppe
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Tales From Ye Dusty Olde Crap Shoppe


TALES FROM YE DUSTY OLDE CRAP SHOPPE, a 21st Century Scenario from the author of "Blood Orgy on Vampire Island."

The shabby environs of Ye Dusty Olde Crap Shoppe are as redolent of defeat and despair as any seven bus stations—or perhaps even a rest home's day-room. This is where unloved books go to die.

Technically its name is the "Friends of the Essex County Library Store" but no one calls it that. It's Ye Dusty Olde Crap Shoppe to the lonely book-hounds and impoverished single mothers who know that it exists. Even if they haven't heard its nickname, it feels like a dusty old crap shop to them.

The public library sells off its books here when they get worn out, or when the demand for newer volumes pushes them off the shelves, or when everyone gets sick of looking at them. All the world's great literature can be found here, buried somewhere in between forgotten bestsellers from the seventies and copies of "Windows 95 for Morons." And it's all yours for fifty cents each.

The dying mall outside of town gives them a space for free. It's very worst space. The shop is tucked into an odd corner of the bottom level, accessible only through the outside of the mall. To reach it, you enter a sort of tunnel and then turn right.

The shop is not marked on maps of the mall—you have to know how to find it yourself. This is not easy. But a certain kind of person always seems to. Shabby failures sit in the shop's uncomfortable chairs at every hour of every day, their faces buried in crumbling paperbacks. Are they retired? Hiding from work? Pretending to go to class? It's hard to say. But they're always here. And now you are here, too. So stroll the groaning shelves, find the hidden places behind them, uncover the horrible secret.

We hope you leave alive, and that you've kept your receipt for tax purposes. As a nonprofit, purchases from Friends of the Library are wholly tax deductible to the extent allowed by law.

Purchaser's Note: This book is either one scenario or five, depending on how you slice it. The adventure has five beginings, five endings, and one middle.  Five intertwined Tales From Ye Dusty Olde Crap Shoppe, tangled up together like the uncaring and unknowable cosmic skeins of fate.

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Customer avatar
Daniel P December 23, 2019 1:57 pm UTC
This document seems like a lot of fun, yet I have a question regarding the page count. The PDF is supposedly 80 pages, but the table of contents indicates the PDF is 50, unless 30 pages are dedicated to the handouts and maps section.

However, this is only a small concern as the price could be reasonably charged for a book a quarter of the 50 page length. Therefore, I congratulate you on this interesting and exciting adventure surrounding my home in the mall.
Customer avatar
James T December 23, 2019 7:27 pm UTC
There are indeed thirty or so pages of maps, handouts, etc. Partly this is because I've provided copies of the maps both with and without labels (so that you can share them with your players without giving things away). A lot of the other handouts are the covers of disturbing and bewildering books that you can hand out to players at appropriate moments. But beware--some of these books are real.
Customer avatar
Daniel P December 23, 2019 7:34 pm UTC
Interesting! You have been shown the yellow light of our King, and I applaud your descent into madness. Also, I am well aware the books are real.
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File Last Updated:
December 23, 2019
This title was added to our catalog on December 23, 2019.