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Novarium $0.00
Publisher: Chubby Funster
by Phillip S. [Verified Purchaser] Date Added: 07/31/2016 19:52:54

So. I just looked over a tabletop system that could have easily been written by feminists, for feminism. Novarium. A free game with decent enough gaming mechanics. The problem comes in its very pushy storyline background. I figured I would at LEAST give it a chance and perouse it..being a freebie. So lets dive into the story..brace yourself..there's no polishing this turd.

God is a female, and the Devil is an evil male that questioned her. He went off and did his own thing, but suddenly he was evil. Okay then. Throwing that part of it out the window but finding it odd..we continue. (Religion always was kind of odd, so I can only fault this one so much.)

Apparently, God has had enough of inequality, so he gives the power of magic or the Path of Light to women. And only women. That's right...we're going to promote equality by giving dangerous magical powers on par with nukes to only ONE group. HMM.

Immediately, the social situation changes and females embrace subjugating males entirely and making them completely subservient pieces of property only good for breeding or occasionally dying in battle..but forget higher forms of learning. (No joke, this is literally in the writing.)

Oh, and if you're a male with magic, then you're not a rarity. Oh no, according to the rules you must always be evil and in league with the Devil. And questioning or stepping outside of these guidelines and you are brought before their version of the inquisition and denied any form of afterlife and basically going to hell or doomed to walk as an undead. You could also be ostracized, tortured, or put into a form of "legalized slavery." What...the...hell, people.

Holy. Shit. Its like Anita Sarkeesian and the worst elements of Catholicism from ancient types had the most demented bastard child you could come up with and then they threw crystal meth into the equation. This is literally what is written in the text. Geeze, I has some really, really nice mechanics to it. But then you get to the story and the only way you could honestly enjoy something like this is if you're one of those feminists or one of those white knight male neutered feminists that has some severe mental issues of the "I deserve this because i'm a male" variety. Laugh it up, but those do exist and in numbers. Mechanics wise, I give it a 4/5. But anything else is in the negatives. Roleplaying games should be open and fun, not a political fuckfest because someone's latest facebook rally didn't get enough likes and they felt triggered by going into the real world. I would ALMOST go so far as to say that giving this away for free is a war crime, as the game itself promotes ideals that are quite frankly for the mentally unbalanced. I WOULD go so far as to say that its pushy enough to be acceptibility wise on par with a tabletop game made explicitly around the concept of rape. That is, entirely unacceptable. Avoid this game.

[1 of 5 Stars!]
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